A Dangerous Affection: Christians Dating Non-Christians – Part 1
By Selma Komisky
What harmony can there be between Christ and the Devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?
– 2 Corinthians 6:15 (LVG)
What does the Bible say about Christians dating non–Christians? You might say to yourself: What’s wrong with that? I’m not hurting anybody? I might be able to help them or I could change them but the bible clearly states according to 2 Corinthians 6:14 in the LVG, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?”
God’s Word gives us several examples of Bible characters that dabbled in relationships with non-Christians and the problems it caused.
Let’s talk about some. For instance, Moses marries a Midianite (She is an unbeliever who doesn’t believe in the same God) woman named Zipporah (her father is Jethro the priest of Midian). Here we see the problems that can arise in the event that you would marry a non-Christian.)
Moses (a Hebrew) and his wife disagreed on circumcision with their son Gershon and she got angry. Zipporah calls Moses “her husband of blood” because she wants to follow the Midianite custom. This attitude is typical today when a person marries another person who believes differently and are not a born again Christian. When they have children they have problems deciding how to raise their children and deciding which religion their children shall be raised up in. Later we see Moses married an Ethiopian woman in Numbers 12:1-12 and Moses’ brother Aaron and sister Miriam speak against Moses because they didn’t approve of Moses choice for a second wife as she was not of the same faith.
Abraham and his barren wife Sarah (Who believed in Yahweh) have an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar and ask her to become a surrogate mother for them. Abraham marries Hagar (Genesis 16: 1 – 6) and Hagar conceives. She then becomes arrogant, flaunting this in Sarah’s face and causes much pain. Hagar ends up despising Sarah and Sarah who is so frustrated banishes Hagar with child. This is a classic situation that happens a lot to a lot of girls in broken relationships where the girl gets pregnant and the guy leaves. Drama unfolds because the girl finds out the guy was married or that guy has another child from another mother and they complicate things (for example: arguing over how they want more time spent with their child over the other, sorting out holidays, demanding money, not spending enough, and looking at what the other child has, child support issues, etc.).
Samson (Nazirite) in Judges 14 sees a Philistine woman from Timnah and marries her to be his wife. This disobedient man and woman chaser sought to please himself instead of God. He said in verse three, “Get her for me, for she pleases me well.” Notice in his eyes, he sees – Samson is lusting. In Judges 14:15, the Philistines threaten Samson’s wife to “Entice her husband to explain Samson’s riddle” (i.e. extravagance was offered if someone could solve the riddle). In the end, the Philistines end up killing her and her father (Judges 15:6).
Samson then in Judges 16:1-31 sees a Philistine harlot in Gaza and sleeps with her. Here again he makes a poor choice and today others fall in this category as well resulting in STD’s, unwanted pregnancy, or abortion. Later he meets another Philistine woman named Delilah who he falls in love with. He’s blinded by this woman’s looks but what he doesn’t realize is she is helping cooperate with the leaders of the Philistines who were seeking to capture him. In verse five, leaders tell Delilah to “Entice him, and find out where his strength lies, and by what means we overpower him, that we may bind him to afflict him; and every one of us will give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.”
Lots of Christians go seek out what appeals to their flesh (out ward only) without seeking the Lord first and like Samson get burned and deeply hurt by the non-believer. A Christian who doesn’t have their walk in Christ together (i.e. going through the motions) is another potentially pitfall. The most common tactic the devil uses to tempt and trip you into falling into sexual compromise. Samson needed to recognize he had a weakness for women and should have fled these women altogether.
The Israelites in Numbers 25: 1-18 speaks about the consequences of intermarriage and how it incurred Gods wrath. The Israelites remained in a place called Acacia Grove and the people began to commit harlotry with the woman of Moab. They stumbled the men and invited them to the sacrifices of their gods and they ate and bowed down to their gods. So Israel was joined to Baal and the anger of the Lord was aroused. This happened because they trapped the men in sexual immorality and false worship.
This is why it is not good to date a non-believer who believes in a different god. You may think it can work or that you can convert them and everything will be cool. It doesn’t work that way and the devil uses it to pull you away from Christ and gets you entangled into their beliefs. In Ezra 9 and 10 the leaders came to Ezra the scribe and reported that both the leaders and people of Israel had failed to remain separate from the gentiles (non-Christian) who lived in the land. The Jews were marrying the pagan people – (a practice that the Law of Moses prohibited (Exodus 34:16 and Deuteronomy 7: 3).
Avoid dating anybody who doesn’t believe in or love Jesus Christ. Avoid dating anyone who has not asked Jesus into their lives to be their personal Lord and Savior. He needs to have his own personal testimony (this is how he became a born again Christian and the transformation that took place) or he will be someone who will pull you away from your relationship with Christ. However, if the other person you are dating is not a Christian, be careful that he does not just tell you what you want to hear. Lots of guys you first meet will say anything to date you! You might ask, “But how do I know?” Satan is a liar and counterfeiter (John 8:44). He will make men seem to know how to say all the right things just to get you caught.
Through these examples, I hope that you can see that even thousands of years ago, Christians struggled with the same temptation of entering into a relationship with a non-believer. I pray that God will allow you to think about some of these stories so that you might avoid a dangerous affection.