Hope For The Ruined                    

By Selma Komisky

When someone becomes a Christian he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same any more. A new life has begun!  

– 2 Corinthians 5:17 (LVG)

How many times have we heard young hurting women cry out, “I’m ruined or damaged goods!” You can see their pain on their tear stained faces as one after one expresses their regret, shame, and heartbreak…“But I thought he loved me,” “He told me I was special,” “I thought nothing would happen,” “We were suppose to get married,”  “I shouldn’t have stayed there! ,” “What do I do I’m pregnant?,” “Who’s going to want me now?,” “He used me!,” “He said don’t tell anyone or else,” “He said ….”

So where do these women even begin? Is there a solution and can hope be found?

There is hope for the ruined through the power of Jesus Christ. Only Jesus our Hope (1 Timothy 1:1) can wash away past guilt, pain, shame and bring healing and restoration. He displayed his great love for us when He gave His life for our sins. The Bible refers to Jesus in Isaiah 53:3 in the NIV as a “A Man of Sorrows,” and “familiar with suffering.” Also, Isaiah 53:5 NIV says, “He (Jesus) was pierced for our transgressions (sins), He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment (the cross) that brought us peace was upon Him by His wounds we are healed”.

Although today’s society snicker and laugh if you say you are a virgin, saving yourself for marriage, or want to stand up for sexual abstinence. Today’s culture accepts or condones sex before marriage.

Let’s see what God’s plan was for sex. God is the creator of sex and created sex for our pleasure–only in the confine of marriage. God created a sexual relationship to be shared exclusively with your one husband. Purity is not something to be ashamed of. Unlike the world would like you to believe, it is also not a thing of the past and sex before marriage is not the norm.

Let’s speak candidly to you women who have experienced sexual abuse (someone violating you in any way that was not a willful, consensual decision. You must know that your virginity was not stolen. You are still pure in the Lords eyes because Jesus, Our Omniscient (all knowing) God knows you were an innocent victim. Don’t let the enemy, that opposes us (known as Satan), tell you otherwise. Your identity is not a “victim” but a victor and new creature in Christ! You can find comfort in Jesus, the God of all Comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3).

Jesus says we all have sinned (Romans 3:23) which means that we have all done wrong . He desires to have a relationship with you which can only come by repentance. So let Jesus come inside and heal those scarred wounded areas. Christ sympathizes with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15-17). When abuse occurs, you feel abandoned or alone. Jesus felt the same way on the cross when He cried out, “My God, My God why have you forsaken me” (Matthew 27:46). Jesus was abused and persecuted, yet innocent.

Victims of abuse often feel the same way because they are innocent.

The good news is you can be assured Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). You are not alone!

In addition, apart of the healing process is to tell someone you trust and you can share with them. Get some godly guidance from a parent, pastor, professional, or trusted friend. This will help you on road to healing as Jesus wants to make you whole and healthy all the way around.

Regret and shame ring in the minds of the women who have lost their virginity.

Naturally women long to be loved and if they don’t receive it from say their family–in a healthy environment–women will go looking for it. According to the Guttmacher Institute,“at least 48% of teens, by the age of 16, have experienced a sexual encounter.” Temptation comes to non-believers and believers. 1 Corinthians 10:12 says, “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.” Sexual immorality even exists in the church. Some young Christians are in involved in some type of sexual sin.

If you have given your virginity away because some guy tells you “I love you”, and if you love me, you’ll give yourself to me. Perhaps you thought you were in love, succumbed to peer pressure, promiscuous, or used your body to arouse or make someone stay in a relationship, you can be forgiven. For what, you might ask: What’s the big deal?

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a (woman) commits are outside (her) body, but (she) who sins sexually sins against (her) own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

You can acknowledge that what you did was sin and when you see you’re wrong, Jesus can cleanse you and pick you back up, forgive you, and remember it no more (1John 1:9). Jesus sees you as a pure bride at that very moment you repent (turn from your sin) and the key is to not fall into sexual sin again (John 8:11).

If you would like to ask Jesus Christ into your life right now by faith, have a relationship with God, and receive healing, you can say this prayer:

Dear Jesus,

I know that I’m a sinner, please forgive me Lord for all my sins. Thank you for dying on the cross for me and rising again to set me free. Come into my life and make me a new person to live for you. Heal me from the inside out. Thank you for making me pure saving me and loving me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.