(Photo by Lindsay O’Neil)
How to Have Healthy Guy Relationships
By Maxine O’Loane
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
– Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)
Okay so I’m going to be completely honest, I don’t know about you but I was always kind of a tomboy growing up. Which most of the time, looked something like this:
1. Always wore jeans and loose t-shirts
2. Played basketball instead of Barbies
3. Had more guy friends than girlfriends
Growing up, when you’re a kid, friendships are pretty simple – go to school, sit together, eat lunch and play at recess. Repeat! But the older we get the more complicated these friendships can get. Especially between a guy and a girl!
Obviously each friendship is different, but for the majority of us, complications are usually due to one of two things: someone (either he or she) gets into a relationship and are otherwise preoccupied or someone has emotions that get in the way.
I’ve heard this familiar phrase, “A guy and a girl CAN’T be just friends,” more times than I can count. However, while it is true that having a friendship with a guy can potentially lead to something more that, it doesn’t mean that all guy/girl friendships are doomed.
So here are some healthy examples how to have friendships with guys:
Keeping Jesus the Center
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes defines the importance of having healthy relationships pretty accurately. But I say it’s also a great basis for having healthy friendships with our brothers in Christ. And I honestly feel that having a healthy friendship with a guy can benefit us in so many ways. The key is balance and keeping Jesus at the center.
Try to spend more time around groups of friends as opposed to constant one on one hangouts in order to guard yourself from possibly temptation.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Make an effort to balance the amount of time you talk/text each other. While every girl loves to have a guy to text 24/7 whether he’s “just a friend” or “something more,” remember that your focus is supposed to be on God and not wondering why “he” hasn’t texted you back yet.
Be Careful What You Share
Another important thing to remember is, even though you may be “closer” to some guys than girls, you need to understand that there are some subjects you should probably avoid talking about. Now, I say this because if you’re in a vulnerable state, and of course if a friends’ there to comfort you, either one of you might end up getting emotionally attached to the other. This might in return be something that could potentially change the friendship (something none of us want to happen with a person we care about).
Remember God didn’t create us to be alone, we were meant to have fellowship and we all have our own close circles of friends to hang out with and open up to. It’s because of these different relationships and of course our relationship with the Lord, that we continue to grow in our walks.