Easing a Broken Heart

(Photo by Grace Lee)

Easing a Broken Heart

Melissa Valle

When you first read a book or hear a song do you ever think to yourself: “Wow. This is just what I needed right now?” And these lyrics or lessons are then instilled in your hearts, even when you don’t need them everyday. You just needed to hear, watch, or read that for the first time at that time. The lyrics spoke well to you at that time or the message of that movie really hit home, just at that time. Well, I think that can happen with people too. At least it did to me. Over the course of this year, God has shown me that He puts people in our lives so that we learn from them, and that can mean that they aren’t always going to stay in our lives.

This summer, I got ahead of myself.

I decided that it was time for me to not be single anymore.

I started talking to someone.

I convinced myself that we would eventually be together.

I started pursuing the relationship and putting myself out there.

I was telling myself that I was just being very bold.

I was mistaken.

Summer came to an end and I was told that the feelings weren’t mutual.

I was teeter tottering with these two feelings: anger and sadness. Anger because I felt like I had wasted my time, my sleep, my best looks, and ultimately my energy and heart on this guy. I was angry at God because I was fed up with being single for so long and that I still have not found the right guy for me. I felt sadness because I had ruined a friendship. I allowed my emotions to get ahead of myself. I was sad because I realized that this guy never felt the same way about me like I did with him. I was sad because I began to lose hope and confidence in who I was. My friends kept telling me I deserved better but I felt like I deserved him.

The last thing I wanted to do was pray.

The last thing I wanted to do was open my Bible.

The last thing I wanted to do was go to church.

All I wanted was to vent, to stay sad and stay angry.

But I received a text message from a dear friend asking me how I was doing and I just poured out to her. She called me and prayed for me and encouraged me and that night I opened my Bible and the Lord taught me all this. This article is a prayer and call to action to anyone else- male or female- who is dealing with a similar situation.

To remember who I am

In my devotion, I prayed that God would to remind me of who I am.

That he would remind me of my assets, my weaknesses, my successes and all my failures. That he would remind me of whom I am in Him. I am His child, His beloved, His servant. I prayed for all these reminders so that I knew enough to be given back my confidence and enough to search for growth in Him.

To humble myself

I also called out to God in repentance. I apologized for desiring and pursuing my will over His. I also prayed and admitted that I misbehaved and misheard God. I kept tricking myself into believing that this was His will and never sat down and actually prayed and asked Him for his will to prevail. Despite this, God knew I would rebel and gave me this wisdom to grasp.

To guard my heart

Jeremiah 17:9-10 states that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? ‘I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.’” I think a common mistake a lot of people, including myself, make is letting our emotions get in the way. We believe that if we feel a certain way it must be the Lord instilling it in us. This can be true in most situations but that is where prayer comes in for confirmation. Thus, we must learn to guard our hearts and let the Holy Spirit lead us rather than our emotions. Pray that the Lord may guard your heart so that you won’t fall just for anyone, but rather the one.

To let go and let God

Praying helps you let go and let God take over your life. It is like pressing a pause button in your life and once you pray God is the one who presses play. I encourage you to stop, think and pray that the Lord may guide you during this trial. Prayer is letting God be your priority and lets the Holy Spirit dwell in you. Let God write your love story and don’t rush Him.

In situations like these, I know it can be so hard to open up to someone about it. However, I found that the most comforting words are “me too.” Let me elaborate. I was very hesitant to tell anyone about my situation, but God kept pushing me. I shared with a friend and she was actually going through the exact same thing as me at that exact same time. I would say that if I didn’t tell her what I went through, we wouldn’t be as close as we are today.

Vulnerability is key. God put her in my life in that moment to remind me that we are all broken and to show me how much we desperately need Him. I believe one of the biggest lies the enemy tells us is when he makes us believe that everyone around us has it all together. Which is nothing but false. Even Christ suffered! In fact, especially Him! Thus with pain being everywhere, we must remember that it’s okay to not be okay. Allow yourself to grieve. Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 reads: “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” Don’t get over it; get through it.

When this situation happened it cut deep, but the wisdom God gave me cut deeper. My trial was the lyrics to that song I needed to hear, the message of that movie or book. It is a scary thing to pray, but I encourage you to pray that the Lord would continue to give you trials to mold you into a Godly woman or man. Like it says in Romans 5:3-5: “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Prayer

“Dear God, my prayer for these individuals is that they would take in what You have to say. It’s times like these where you shine the most. Let this be a lesson to grasp with their hearts not so that they will be expecting something to make up for this situation but so that they will be a step closer to being the person you’ve called them to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”