(Photo by Stevi Phipps)
Break the “Norm” and Just Wait for Your Soulmate
By Maxine O’Loane
Alright, time for a quick vocab lesson, are you ready?
- Purity- freedom of immorality, of a sexual nature
- Virtue/Virtuous- having or showing high moral standards
- Sexual Abstinence- the act of abstaining from any sexual encounters
- Hookup Culture – a culture that accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters
You still with me? Don’t worry that’s as far as its going to go. I just needed you to understand these words so I can get my point across. So, I’m going to touch base on a topic that most would find uncomfortable to talk about. Abstinence and how to stay pure in this “hookup culture” that we’re all living in. Staying abstinent in a culture that encourages premarital sex is something that I feel should be talked about more often.
Remember growing up when “peer pressure” was deciding whether or not to listen to your friends and give your crush that “Do you like me?” note at recess? Then a few years later it was, debating if you should put him/her in your top 10 on Myspace? Or was that just me- I feel like I’m aging myself here. Anyways, fast forward a few more years and maybe now you’re pressured to have sex with someone (boy/girlfriend, crush, hookup) because that’s the norm. The only reason I say it’s considered the “norm” is because every day we’re bombarded with the idea that casual is so widely accepted. It’s all around us in movies, TV shows, school, books, and sometimes even in our own families. This “Hookup Culture” we live in is doing its best to take something as intimate as sex and turning it into something you can do with anybody you want.
We as believers are called to be set apart from the rest of the world. First Peter 2:9 describes us as, “a royal priesthood, a Holy nation.” in other words, we’re to live in a manner that’s pleasing to God. Proverbs 31 talks about the virtuous woman, whose characteristics we as women should all aspire to have. This is where abstinence and purity come into play. One synonym for virtuous is having high moral standards, and that is how we should be both physically and mentally. Because your decision to stay pure doesn’t just affect you, it’s a witness to those around you. It shows you know that God has a specific plan for your life and by staying pure you’re showing your trust in that plan. If you’re convinced that your significant other is “the one” and that it’s okay as long as you love each other remember, our hearts can deceive us.
You see, God meant for sex to be within a marriage for a reason. Commitment being the most obvious, just because you sleep together doesn’t mean that you’ll stay together forever. Whereas in marriage, you both made a lifelong commitment to each other. Another reason is, the more casually you have it the more you increase your chances of contracting an STD/STI. Think about it, you’ve only had sex with one person, but your partner had it with someone else who had it with another person. Now go ahead and try to do the math, seems like it’s never ending, right? Now if both of you stayed pure and waited until marriage your chances obviously decrease, and you’ll be able to experience your first time the way God intended it.
I’m sure people are going to say something about how waiting that long doesn’t make sense, its outdated, or that God just hates sex. Truth is, they’re quick to forget that he doesn’t hate it, he created it. But he created it to take place within marriage as a way to strengthen the bond between a husband and wife, not as a one night stand with a stranger. And if you’ve already experienced your first time, don’t worry this still applies to you. Because when we come to the Lord our slates are wiped clean and all we need to do from that point on is honor him and your body until the day he brings your spouse into your life. To be honest, staying pure is not going to be easy; especially in the times we live in. However, being able to experience your first time with your future husband/wife the way it was supposed to happen will be well worth the wait. So, just hold true to the promises he’s given you and when it all falls into place the time you waited won’t even matter.
“As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had…‘Be holy, because I am holy’”
– 1 Peter 1:14-16 (NIV)