Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

(Photo by Wesley Kong)

Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

By Melissa Valle

This is the third bridesmaid dress you’ve bought, the fourth creme-colored invitation you’ve gotten in the mail and the tagged pictures on Facebook of you at weddings have covered your entire page.

You can’t help but think when is it your turn to wear that white dress? When will it be your turn to send those invitations? When is it your turn to upload those pictures?

Ladies I want to acknowledge that it is easy to compare yourself to the bride. It’s easy to just stare at the “Mr. & Mrs.”, watching and sighing as they have their first dance together. Overall, it is so easy to compare yourself to them and the situation. Wondering when it will be your time? The grass is always greener on the other side, right?

I’m not going to deny that marriage is beautiful. Weddings are what girls look forward to and have been dreaming about since they were little.  However, it is beautiful in its own time. To be more exact, God’s timing. I know how tiring it can be hearing this, but hear me out. Singleness is not the worst thing in the world, but dating someone who is not meant to be with you can be. Jefferson Bethke, Christian author explains that “dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn’t yours.” Wouldn’t your Creator, the one who knows all your perks and all your joys and all your shortcomings know who is best for you? Wouldn’t he want to prepare you to be the one not to just meet the one, to mold you into the woman he wants you to be in furthering His kingdom not just marriage?

To those of you who are in that place, I can acknowledge that it is hard. But, marriage is not one long honeymoon. Scripture even says, if you’re married, live out as if you aren’t. To have your eyes fixed on the Lord. You worry about when your time will come, even if your time will come, Matthew 6:30-33 reads “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (ESV)

Lastly, be aware not having that ring on that finger does not mean that you are not worth it. not funny enough, not outgoing enough or just not good enough. Remember that God made you and he does not make mistakes. You were created in His image. Continue to grow to reflect Him more and you will find more joy in being more like Him than you would in being married. Marriage is not the epitome of your life, but knowing and seeking Christ is. You are beautiful, and those wedding bells will ring.