Summer Flirting: A Memoir
By Melissa Valle
I met him on Good Friday of last year. My best friend and I were new at the college group. I remember pulling up to the driveway of our leader’s home. Not knowing what to expect. We sat down at the table. My best friend and everyone else was playing spoons. He was sitting on the edge of the table watching everyone play. Just like I was. He introduced himself, as did I. He mentioned that he is not from around here because he went to school out of state and was on spring break. First impressions are a big thing for me. And he left a good one. I had just met him and I felt like I’ve known him for so long.
I wondered when he got out of school and he would be home. Hoped it was soon. I thought about him every day. Our conversation that night. His charm. His story. I just couldn’t wait for summer.
My roommate then one day took my phone and messaged him. He responded that minute. I asked her every two minutes what to say until it seemed so easy to talk to him. It was so natural. Why is this so natural? Could this be what I think it is?
He got out of school. Then, I got out. My best friend and I had just befriended him and his friends and we hung out almost every day of the summer. We just both kept talking over text. From the moment we woke up until we went to bed ignoring the fact that he would be moving back to school in two months.
I was so certain.
I shouldn’t have been.
We stopped talking for a while. As I was doing my chores, listening to the music we both liked, I wondered why this wasn’t progressing. Why hasn’t he ask me out already? Why God can’t you let this happen? That same moment he texted me, asking me when we are going to watch Perks of Being a Wallflower, our favorite movie.
He came to my house and met my family. We watched the movie. We knew each line. After the movie, we sat on my couch. Just talking. After he left, my friends called me.
“So was it a date?!” they persisted.
“I don’t know,” I said.
And I didn’t. That was a red flag I chose to ignore.
We didn’t text. At all. He ignored me when we were in our college group. I remember praying to God, “Just let Your will be done. No matter how much it hurts.”
And it did.
Because I realized I was just a pastime for the summer to him. And there I was thinking about long term. I was just another girl he was talking to.
God, how could you let this happen?
And so I moved back to my school. I unpacked with a sore heart. Then I heard my phone ring. It’s him. For once, I just wanted to be nothing but bitter and angry. I ignored it. And it felt good.
I remember going to bed thinking, “Why did I pray for His will be done? I didn’t think it would hurt this bad”.
But one day I brought my sore heart to God and spent some alone time with Him. And I let it out. I would wake up and do the same for a few weeks. It got better. Each day, I was in awe of my Father. I realized that I was being pursued this whole time. I brought all my weariness to him and the joy of the Lord became my strength. And little did I know he had someone better for me.
Ladies, I am not mainly sharing this story with you to help you see God’s goodness in the midst heartbreak (even though He is, Amen?). But rather I am sharing this to save you from a heartbreak. Pray that God may guard your heart. Summer flirting is fun, I am not going to lie. But last summer made such a huge impact on me and I don’t know what I would have done without seeing God in the midst of it. I would advise you to get out of it unless you are certain that it is going somewhere in the future, that it’s fruitful and in God’s will. I encourage you to talk to a mentor or someone older so that they can hold you accountable and point out anything that seems off.
I realized that just an hour alone with my Father was so much nicer than a whole summer talking to a boy. With that being said, I encourage you all step away from all that drama and alone with God. And realize that you’ve been pursued your entire life.
“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever,” Psalm 23:6.