Our Note to Guys: Encouragement For Men

(Photo by Selma Komisky)


Our Note to Guys: Encouragement For Men

By Sarah and Selma Komisky

SUBJECT: Anonymous Notes of Encouragement For Those Struggling With Sexual Addiction

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what the Lord requires of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.”

– Micah 6:8 (ESV)

This is our prayer for you.


“As someone who has been in the same boat, what helped me the most was being accountable to other Christians who I could call up or text when I was slipping back into temptation. Remove any sexual temptations, even if it’s the relationship you’re in, because it’s not worth your relationship with the Lord.”

“Sexual addiction does not make you a monster or leave you without hope, no matter how many times you fail. I think most men struggle with some sort of sexual sin. It is important to know that you are never beyond forgiveness and that Christ’s mercies are new every morning. It is also crucial that men surround themselves with other men who will encourage them and life them up, ones that are trustworthy to be there for them. Staying in community with other believers is essential. 

“Dude, remember that who you are is not what you’ve done. God loves you despite your human brokenness. You are not alone in this. Keep fighting the good fight. Keep reading God’s word. Keep reaching forward towards the light. Keep praying for your healing. Keep seeking truth and be honest with yourself. Watch ‘The Heart of Man.’ It’s an awesome portrayal of how much God loves you and forgives you. Psalm 25:7 – Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, Lord, are good.”

“I think if there was one thing I want guys struggling with sexual addiction to know, is  that God put boundaries on sex, not to withhold good from us, but to protect us and enrich us. We get it mixed up and think that God is the one who wants to ‘steal, kill, and destroy,’ and that Satan’s the one who wants to give us life abundantly. But ask anyone trapped in porn or sex addiction, it’s a trap with a steep, soul-numbing cost. The pleasures get shallower, the risk keeps getting more intense for the thrill, and the worth of a committed relationship just vanishes like a puff of vapor. If you could lay down your cravings once and for all at the foot of the cross, and surrender your whole will to Jesus,  you would give Him space to prove that ‘all the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth’ to those who will keep His commands. He made sex. He knows what He’s doing.”

“The first and probably hardest thing to do is to be honest & admit that you’re struggling. Telling someone what you’re going through is key cause it puts it out there for that person to help keep you from giving in. Being open and honest with someone you trust to call you out whenever those old habits or desires start coming back into play can make a world of difference. Whether it’s sex, pornography or something else, overcoming an addiction is never going to be a quick fix, but having a good support system will definitely make it a little easier. And whenever you need a little reminder that it does get better, take it back to scripture and read James 4:7! ‘Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.’”

“One thing that comes to mind is to not journey alone. We all face struggles, painted with different colors and shapes. As you face your struggle with sexual addiction, please note you’re not alone. Seek a strong support system via the community near or a Celebrate Recovery at a local church. You are not your struggle! With support, you’ll gain the strength to make it through. You are worth it!”

“Guys, I want you to be reminded of who you are. You are a man of God, made in His image and created with purpose. You are a warrior. A leader, wild at heart and can be used to do incredible things. You need to know that we women need you. Freedom is possible. Hope is at the door in the person of Jesus Christ. You are an overcomer. A world-changer. You remember that Christ is in the business of breaking chains and setting captives free. So, shed your guilt. Let Christ help you daily, get serious about obedience, start making good boundaries, resolve to honor instead of objectify women, get to know them, cherish them, and overall, walk in the pursuit of God and He will bring about the necessary change. You do not have to fix yourself.”