Our Note to Guys: Overcoming Insecurity

(Photo by Selma Komisky)

Our Note to Guys: Overcoming Insecurity

By Sarah and Selma Komisky

QUESTION: How Do You Want to Encourage Guys in Overcoming Insecurity?

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.”

– Micah 6:8 (ESV)

This is our prayer for you.


My initial response would be to take the time to dive into the identity God has given them – when one knows and is secure in the fact they are a son or daughter of the King, insecurity has a hard time sticking around.”

To any guy struggling with insecurity, I would say that, in the end,  just being yourself goes very far. We all struggle with insecurity in some way, shape, or form, but the problem can begin when we allow the insecurities we have to  dictate our lives. By the grace of God, insecurities can be defeated when we accept who God made us to be and embrace it with confidence. I’ve come to find that a lot of times, though insecurity is real to us in our own personal being, people don’t often pay attention to other people’s insecurities, but rather, just focus on their own. If that’s the case, then giving too much to caring about what other people might think of us is a waste of time, especially if others aren’t even really paying attention, am I right? It’s really a battle of the self, but with the help of God, it’s a battle that can be won. It may not feel like an easy battle at times, but I can honestly say whenever I’ve seen someone step out of their comfort zone, embrace their challenges, and push forward, it encourages me! In the end, I would say to remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made with a purpose and that no insecurity is worth forgetting that, let alone allowing it to consume you. Remember who God says you are.”

Hmmm. I would ask them to try to notice positive little things about their friend or their girlfriend that show how much that person really cares about them. To focus on these good things. Everyone has little negative quirks and has done things that hurt others in some way….but if we look for the good in the people we care about, we WILL find it. Especially if we ask God to guide us to the truth. We can then begin to feel more secure in those relationships. We will also begin to learn which relationships aren’t as healthy for us. Praying, asking God to guide us and give us the wisdom we need – as well as courage to follow His leading in our relationships will help us to have truly rewarding and healthy relationships.”

No women is expecting you to be a superhero––only to be a man of your word, and to do the right thing when you do make mistakes.”

Insecurity is mostly curable in following Christ with total commitment. I think the most valuable trait a guy could ever possess would be unflinching godliness. A guy who hears God’s voice and obeys it, who lives out God’s word whether or not anyone’s looking–there’s nothing more attractive, in my opinion. Guys like that exude strength and confidence because they know that in themselves, maybe there’s not much going on there. But in total yieldedness to Christ, these guys are unstoppable, even in their weakest moments: ‘He who does the will of God remains forever (1 John 2:17).’ A guy like that beats a thousand billionaires any day of the week. To a girl who’s got her head on straight, anyways.”

My advice is to guys is to relax in the knowledge that they are not alone in their insecurities, and in Christ they can rise above those feelings.”

You don’t need to be tough all the time. Showing emotions means you’re human, and nobody is too strong for that. You can have fears, and that’s perfectly okay.”

Spend a little more time with Jesus and His people daily, weekly. Let the truth of His promises wash over you – you have been redeemed from death, made right with God. Now you have peace with your creator! And even more glorious than that, child of God, you have been adopted into a family! You are royalty along with Christ and loved by a perfect Father who adores you. One cannot be insecure in light of such truths – allow them by God’s Spirit to sink into your soul. Wow, how secure we can be in light of His love!”

Know who God has created you to be. Remember that He saw you at your worst and still found you worth dying for. Hold your head up high and know you don’t have to pretend with Him. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Don’t stay stuck in comparison. Your identity is found in Him and Him only. You are loved, beloved son of the Most High. The One who moves the mountains sees you right now and loves you. He sees you as righteous and accepts you for who you are. You.”

“Insecurity about appearances is very much a reality we think only exists with females – this isn’t true. I’ve heard many guys talk about how they don’t like or that about themselves because they feel like they don’t meet the world’s ideal of a muscular physique. Guys are equally feeling the pressure with social media and not feeling enough. They too need to know they are enough as they are. If someone is unwilling to accept them for what they look like, that’s not a relationship worth having. Furthermore, it is a pretty shallow one at that. God’s love goes beyond sight and cares about who you are as a person. So wait for the girl who will recognize your worth beyond your looks because she cares about YOU.”

We need to find our security in Jesus. Often we can lose sight of what our identity and image should be. So easy to feel like we do not measure up. Find your security in the promises of God and know that you are loved and valued because you’re his child.”