(Photo by Selma Komisky)
WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS CONTENT FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
PTSD: Path to Spiritual Deliverance
By Amanda Zarate
As I sat down to write a lesson to my younger self, I tried to ignore the facts of my childhood. I found myself struggling to draft a lighter, more carefree lesson. Finally, I came to the conclusion that if I believe what I teach, which is that 100 percent of people are affected by sexual abuse, then I have to share this life-changing lesson.
To the girl in the mirror who will overcome.
Amanda, you have endured many hurts in your life, but there is one particular evil that almost took you out. One second you were lying in the comfort of your father’s arms and the next you were preyed upon by him. At the tender age of nine your father began sexually molesting you which later progressed to rape. By the time you were 16, you had made up your mind that you were hopelessly damaged, ruined, without worth, and incapable of living a fulfilling life. Your thoughts were haunting and always with you. You could never rest or escape.
You spent your young adult life running from your past in the form of abusive relationships, drinking, partying, flirting, cheating, and throwing all caution to the wind. In fact, you looked for trouble hoping that something, anything, would hurt you so your numb mind and body could feel. Your pain is not imagined and your Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is real, but you will encounter a new PTSD that is even more real.
You will no longer deal with suicidal thoughts, depression, heartache, bad relationships, and reckless living, but rather, you will experience something much greater. A divine PTSD – or Path to Spiritual Deliverance.
Just as the apostle Paul endured many trials and obstacles, yet somehow remained immovable, upbeat, and determined to hold on, you also will forge ahead knowing deep down inside of you that none of this will break you. You will find out someday that you were never alone and that God was always with you––that’s why you have supernatural strength, not only to endure, but to thrive.
All of your chaos will soon glorify Jesus when He reveals His plans for you. Yes, God is in the details of your life, and He cares for you deeply. He will bring your life into perfect order starting with getting right with Him when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. This will be the first time you will truly know what it is to be loved.
Your pain will have a purpose! You will be strong for those who are not yet strong and bold for those who have not found their voice. You will passionately and courageously point people to Jesus because you will know that He is the only reason you have overcome all the battles in your life.
You will light up with understanding when you read the Bible verse that says, “God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3,4 NLT) You will find a strength to help other sexual abuse survivors that you weren’t sure you had for yourself.
Again you will find comfort and understanding in Paul’s words: “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.” (2 Corinthians 1:8,9 NLT) You will find incredible joy in serving your powerful Lord Jesus Christ because finally you will find peace and rest in knowing He is in control and you have Him to help you through anything.
Believe it or not, you will actually thank God for this incredible life of yours. You will live a blessed and exciting life full of miracles and wonder as you serve others for the Lord. You will know that you are not ruined or damaged but a very loved daughter of the King who has been set apart for great things in the name of Jesus Christ. So, keep going little girl, because you are on your Path to Spiritual Deliverance!