(Photo by Natalie Baugh)

Why Waiting for “The One” is Okay

By Jehn Kubiak

The idea of a soul-mate has existed for ages; the notion that there’s one person that’s a match made in heaven. Yes, this can sometimes seem far-fetched, but what if there’s some truth to it? What if there really is one person out there that God has specifically handpicked for you?

Some people run endlessly through relationships; I know because I’ve been friends with some of them. Those friends had a different boyfriend each year––sometimes, even each month. I wondered why in the world they voluntarily endured such heartbreak just to have someone say three words: “I love you.” But then I realized that they may face an even greater problem: patience.

Honest confession: I’m 23 and have never dated. Actually, I haven’t even had a crush (although I’ve considered certain men attractive). Sure, a lot of my friends make fun of me for being the “single one,” and I can sometimes get jealous of my married and engaged friends. However, I realized God has called me into a special place. He’s taught me how to be patient for that one guy who will truly be that perfect match.

Now, I’m not saying that I won’t ever argue with my future husband, or I won’t have days where I just want to bang my head against a wall because I’m sick of how different we might be. However, I know that God will grow both of us through that relationship––as persons and children of Christ. I know that God is also currently teaching both of us important lessons that we’ll need to learn before we meet.

As a high school girl, I bemoaned the fact that I didn’t have a date to my prom or a guy who would give me his jacket if I was too cold. I saw my friends having so much fun with their boyfriends at the movies, while I sat at home with Pretty Little Liars and a bowl of Moose Tracks. I wanted to have a special someone that would give me red roses and a teddy bear on Valentine’s Day.

Alas, that never happened. But younger self, that’s okay. You learned how to have great friendships with others. You grew your relationship with God and became an incredibly headstrong individual. You watched your brothers marry and learned what a solid relationship looks like. You had time to just be yourself and figure your life out first instead of becoming a chameleon for someone else.

While I sometimes wish I had a ring on my finger, I also wouldn’t trade my singleness for anything else. That is, unless God puts my future husband in my path. I encourage my readers who are single to consider how God is working through your life. It’s okay to be a bit sad that you don’t have a mate yet, but don’t let it hold you down either. This is the time to discover more about yourself as a person and learn what it means to remain patient with God’s plans.