A New Normal

(Photo by Selma Komisky)


A New Normal

By Ashley Gomez

Losing someone is never easy. We may know it’s coming, we may not. I don’t think us knowing makes a difference. It doesn’t make it sting any less, the heartache is still felt every day. We all grieve differently. I grieve differently than my mother, differently from my father, and even still differently from my siblings. What is even more intriguing is that we all still heal from the loss, however differently. Some of us take more time to heal, some of us don’t need as long. But wherever you fall on the spectrum, losing someone you cared for and then taking the time to heal is a very delicate process that an individual goes through. What I hope to supply to those of you grieving the loss of a friend or a loved one, or those of you going through a hard time, is the courage and strength to continue the journey to healing and finding a place where you can be firm enough to stand on your own two feet.

It’s hard to say that one can easily sum up simple steps to aid your healing process, regardless of where you are. I think it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone is going to be in the exact same spot in their healing process. Regardless, the point of the following resources that I will be very loosely calling a “how-to” is to find where you are, and then continue your healing process to get back a “normal” state of being yourself.

This “how-to” can be a starting point, but you can also jump from step to step to see what fits your needs the most. Your healing is of the utmost importance during this time, so take your time, be patience with yourself, and, perhaps most importantly, believe that you can heal from this no matter how long it takes.

1. Allow Yourself Time to Process

The way one processes things is crucial to the healing process. Whether processing a loss or processing the current state of your mental health, it may be easy to take it at surface value. But I urge you to take caution if taken at face value. Instead slow down, breathe, allow yourself to realize that whatever you are processing needs to be done with ease and great care.

2. Find a Distractor

Even if you know it’s a very obvious distraction, you need something to draw you away from your worries of loss, or state of being.

3. Talk to Someone

This might be uncomfortable to some, but explaining to someone how you are feeling and what you’re going through is vital to your healing process. Once you do this, you are not alone in your battle, someone is there with you going on this journey with you.

Baby steps are the best steps. When you’re trying to go back to feeling yourself again, doing the smallest things, the simplest things, like taking a shower or making yourself a meal are the beginning of your journey to healing.

Now, there is so much more I could add to this, but I think these are foundational how-to steps to start getting yourself slowly, but surely, back on your feet.


Coping With Depression:


Bereavement and Grief:


Suicide Prevention:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline