Moving Towards Marriage

(Photo by Selma Komisky)

Moving Towards Marriage

By Keni Kirkwood

Being single can be delightful. But my guess is that it’s not the destination for most of us. (And if it is, that’s ok too. The Bible talks a lot about the goodness of being single). Someday, we’re hoping to end up with awesome, godly husbands. Yet, marriage doesn’t just happen. It takes a process to get there. What about that process?

How can we move towards marriage?

I’m going to give you four steps you can take on that path. Then it’s up to you to keep walking and take some steps of your own.

1) Prayer

As Christians, we know the importance of a rockin’ prayer life. But I’m not just talking about asking God about your future. I’m talking about praying specifically for your future husband, even while you don’t know him yet.

Personally, I keep a special notebook, and every week I write down a prayer for my husband. I also sometimes write little notes or favorite quotes in it. I think it will make a pretty special wedding gift.

Even if you don’t write everything down, you should still pray for your future husband. After all, you’ll be praying for him for the rest of your life once you’re married, so you might as well get a head start!

Not sure what to pray? Don’t worry, it’s not hard. The Bible is a great place to start. Find out what it says about a godly man and pray those things for your husband. Ask that his walk with God would grow. Pray things like wisdom, peace, and joy over his life.

2) Building your life

You will never have more time in your life than you have right now as a single lady. Take advantage of that time while it’s here. Let your career flourish while it’s your focus. Save some money while you can. Is there a skill or hobby you’ve always wondered about? What better time to crochet or write that great American novel!

Also, this is a great time to get yourself together spiritually. Really spend time getting know the Bible. Enjoy time with God without distractions. Read some good books about the Christian walk.

3) Preparing for your role

On that same note, just like an actor or actress prepares for a movie role by studying the character they’ll be playing, we can prepare for the role of a wife the same way. We do this by learning some of the skills that will benefit us in a household.

Learn how to cook. Even if you end up blessed with a man like my dad who can cook literally anything, it will still come in handy. Study conflict resolution and healthy disagreements so you will be ahead of the game. Practice getting great at managing your time and money.

Talk to your parents or married friends and listen to their advice. Personally, this one means a lot. My parents’ marriage rocks, and my dad has spent most of my life talking with me about healthy relationships and teaching me some of these important skills. Thanks, Dad!

4) Getting healthy

Now is also an awesome time to develop a strong, healthy lifestyle that can stay with you for the rest of your life. Physically, you can find the exercise that works for you, work on drinking water, and finding fun healthy snacks.

Spiritually, build your “skills” like prayer and scripture memorization.

Mentally, it will never be easier to clean out your “closet.” Consider talking to a Christian counselor to deal with the hurts in your past. That way, you can be the healthiest you when you meet Mr. Right.

You see, we may be single but that doesn’t make us stagnant. It might seem like a long walk, though I’m sure it will be worth it. Besides, when we focus on the journey, rather than the destination, we can enjoy what God has for us right where we are. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (NIV).

Right now, our path is singleness. Whether that path leads to marriage or a different adventure, we can count on God’s guidance and provision. So, keep walking. Let’s become the best of wives and best of women (to quote Alexander Hamilton), one step at a time.