(Photo by Selma Komisky)
Loved In A Season of Singleness
By Brittney Perez
Sometimes in the season of singleness it can be hard to see God’s loving hand in the waiting. Ever find yourself wondering where God is in the midst of your singleness? I have. I’ve come to find, though, that it’s not that God’s love isn’t present. Rather, the perspective I have at times doesn’t allow room for me to see His love as I wait for the person God has for me. I’ve had many ebbs and flows when it pertains to singleness. I have moments where I feel the positive benefits of singleness: having way more free time, being able to spend time with friends whenever, freedom to travel, and having more time to serve the Lord. These are all great benefits to singleness. However, instead of focusing on the positive, I can have a tendency to focus more on what I feel are the more negative aspects if you will, like not having someone special to celebrate important moments with or having someone to simply call and share my day/deep thoughts with. Aside from these negative thoughts, there is one that often creeps into my mind and blows all those other thoughts out of the water, and that’s this idea that I will never find my person and forever be alone.
Even though I know God is good and that He gives good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11 NIV), I sometimes can’t shake the thought that maybe my desire to be in a relationship and get married isn’t in His plans for me. Now, I don’t truly believe that deep down, but the enemy is good at what he does. He lies and tries to get me to believe his lies. Sometimes I feel so much like the Israelites. Even though God brought them out of Egypt with a mighty hand and outstretched arm along with many signs and wonders, they often got tripped up by what they couldn’t see. When they couldn’t see what God was doing, they complained. They grumbled against Moses and against God. In doing this, not only did they display a lack of trust in God, but they also longed to return to that which God brought them out of. Often times I find I’m like that too. I get sad and disappointed when all I see are my present circumstances, which are honestly not even bad. I will “long for Egypt.” I’ll start to even revisit past relationships in my mind and think things like, “What if I had just stayed with that person” or “Maybe I let go of something good.” I will return to Egypt in my mind when God shows me time and time again that He is doing a new thing and that what I had wasn’t ultimately His perfect will (Isaiah 43:19 NIV).
When the Israelites would begin to complain and grumble in the wilderness, they would quickly forget God’s provision and goodness. It can be all too easy to become impatient as we wait for God in our singleness season. Just like how the Israelites forgot the many good things God had done for them in the wilderness, it’s unfortunate to say that it can be just as easy for us to take our eyes off of God as our first love as we wait for love. Yet God is gracious and compassionate, and His plans are not contingent on our failures.
As you navigate your season of singleness, don’t squander it, but rather soak it up. Remember God is your first love and know that if He could lead His people out of Egypt, part the Red Sea, and conquer nations to give His people the land He promised them and their descendants, He can provide for your needs and desires. Remember to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well,” (Matthew 6:33 NIV). May our eyes be fastened to God as our first love in singleness as well as when we receive the desires of our hearts.