Search Me

(Photo by Selma Komisky)

Search Me

By McKenzi Matsick

Have you ever let God take a good, deep look into your life in order to expose what needs to change?

There are two verses in Psalm 139 that say, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

The thing is, God knows your heart. He knows what thoughts are in your mind. We just have to let Him in so He can help us bloom and grow into the person that He is calling us to be.

Here lately, I have let a lot of negativity enter my heart and mind. I am working three jobs and just recently lost a job. It’s been hard, especially living in a city that is full of millionaires, Tesla’s, and mansions, when I am just barely making what I need each month to stay living in the area.

It has been four months since I graduated college, and I have been actively applying to full-time jobs for six months. I’ve lost count of how many applications I have submitted. The rejection has gotten old, and I have been brought to the end of myself and the beginning of fully relying on God’s faithfulness to carry me through this season.

Now, I don’t say all of the above out of wanting to be felt sorry for, but I say all of it to show you the trend of how God has taken my heart from frustration to trust amid a sea of uncertainty.

The truth is, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Neither do you. However, you and I both can REST in the fact of Who holds the future. I think of the song Because He Lives by Bill Gaither. The chorus goes something like this:

“Because He lives I can face tomorrow

Because He lives all fear is gone

Because I know, I know He holds the future

And life is worth the living just because He lives”

Countless times have I wanted to throw in the towel, give up, and move home. Regardless, I’d be in the same predicament of trying to “figure” out my life no matter if I’m in Tennessee or if I’m in Florida. I’d rather believe that God has a plan in a place He specifically brought me to than close an entire door before one is about to open up in front of me in the right place.

No matter what, I’ve come to the place of believing and experiencing that life truly is worth living for this one reason – He lives.

God lives, and He lives through the story He is writing with my life. My life and purpose is to not strive, get frustrated, control an unknown future, etc. My life and purpose is to make His name known no matter what occupation(s) I have. The same goes for you, too.

Maybe you’re facing a similar situation. You may be experiencing something completely different, but the frustration and relatable traits are residing in your heart.

Ask God to search your heart. Ask Him to help you reposition yourself in such a way that you can best honor Him and further His kingdom. He absolutely will help you.

I don’t normally do this, but I would love to share my Instagram handle if you would love to share your story of what you may be walking through right now. I’d love to encourage you and pray for you! Here it is: @mckenzi.matsick

We can face uncertain days because – He lives.