(Photo by Selma Komisky)

Reframe: Open Doors With Purity in Friendships

By Michelle Ochen 

There is a yearning to have that friend we feel safe sharing anything with. The friend who actually keeps secrets a secret, the one who does not care if your house is a mess, the one who is authentic and tells you the truth even when you do not want to hear it. We do not want a mix of real and fake, we want genuine friendship. We do not want a friend who says one thing and does another. We want true friendship. We want purity in our friendships. Discovering such a friendship is like unlocking a treasure. 

Have you ever thought about the concept of purity in friendship? Usually, we associate the idea with being a topic of romantic relationships, but authenticity comes from being pure about who you really are. A pure friend will not just tell you the sweet words you want to hear but will tell you the hard truths when you need to hear them. Are you that kind of friend? Will you say what needs to be said in situations, even at the risk of temporary offending for the greater good? Will you say the right thing instead of the easy thing? 

Another way we can pursue purity in friendship is by being authentic in our speech. If you tell someone one thing and then turn around and in a conversation with another and speak differently, you are not being a pure friend. Purity in friendship does not change with the dynamic of the situation or company—it remains the same. Pure friends remain consistent in their speech. Purity of friendship holds integrity in conversation.

A final thought on pursuing purity in friendship is being authentic with who you are. Pure friendships do not require you to change who you are to better fit in with the friend. A pure friendship accepts you for who you are and gives you the freedom to be you. Pure friendship embraces the differences between one another and welcomes being raw and real.

When we expand our minds on purity past the common definition, we can begin to see that the pursuit of purity is a pursuit of authenticity in the way we live and handle relationships of many forms in our lives. Friendships can be raw, real, and pure, or they can be a mix of emotion, pretending, and gossip. You get to decide what kind of friend you want to be, and those who pursue purity in their friendships find great gain.