(Photo by Natalie Reed; Edited by Selma Komisky)
Getting Real: Sex and the Church
By Tori Martin
I’ve recently come to the sad realization that the topic of sex in many churches appear to cover two loaded subjects; pre-marital sex and sexuality…and that’s it. That’s where the conversation stops. These two subjects of conversation are of course very important and very much needed however, there are some other very important and very much needed conversations about sex and purity that we also need to hear and discuss in Church.
I’m talking the kind of conversations that speak on a more personal, real, individual level.
The conversations for the newly married couples where waiting was the easy part and now find themselves in an unexpected situation due to a series of flawed expectations. Or, the conversations for the Christian teenagers who are struggling with their sexual identity, feeling super confused and super isolated. Or what about the conversations for the many Christians who are struggling with sexual sin or sinful desires? Where are these conversations for these people? These people are just like you and just like me.
These are the real people in real churches with a real love for Jesus who want/need real conversations about real life, real sex, and the real struggles yet, they are too afraid to reach out because one, we are not talking about it and because two, feel like they can’t ask for prayer and support due to a fear of being judged, condemned or disowned.
This is so sad and this so needs to change.
Let’s make an effort to rewire our conversations on the topic of sex in the Church. We live in a world where sex and freedom to do whatever and whoever you want is celebrated and encouraged yet there still seems to be a lack of freedom and so much uncomfortableness around actually discussing these much-needed real topics! We need the body of Christ to talk real talk more, to talk like, “Hey, it’s going to be okay, God’s not mad at you, let us pray for you, support you and give you some Spirit-led wisdom and guidance in this struggle your facing. You are not alone in this.”