(Photo by Selma Komisky)
Re-Writing the Misconception of Singleness
By Brisa Aguirre
Purity culture has evolved since the beginning of mankind. Marriage and dating included. But those that are not dating and remain single often get looked down upon for it. Even more so those who are past the typical Christian marrying age. What might those who are married or in a relationship think towards those who have been single for many years?
Marriage and Dating: Then VS Now
Marriage, for the most part, was made possible through arrangement back in the day. Although some cultures still practice arranged marriages today, it is not as common here in the U.S. Then, parents and elders would pick the groom based on him being from a “good family.” And the bride was expected to be as pure as the day she was born.
It was not until the mid-twenty-first century that women began sexual liberation in the secular culture. Dating became more popular even though it may not lead to marriage. Since then it has become more common for people to live, as God calls it, sexually immoral. People who have kept themselves pure until marriage are becoming rarer and rarer.
There are those who have kept themselves pure beyond the typical marrying age. This often leads to misconceptions as to why they are still single. In particular, women who are single often feel the most pressure to get married.
Misconceptions of Singleness
It is well known that church people often marry young–the early twenties or before in some cases. But what about those who have passed their mid-twenties and into their mid-thirties and beyond and are still unmarried?
If a person has been single for a long time people may associate them with negative perceptions. This is where the misconceptions come in.
Some may assume that…
- There is something wrong with the person
- They do not go out much
- They have no “luck” finding anybody
- Standards are too high or they are picky
But could it be possible that a single person can choose to be single? Could it be possible God may have called someone to remain single?
What To Keep In Mind
Always remember: it is God’s timing and singleness is a gift.
We have all heard this at least once, “singleness is a gift.” And this is true. But those who desire to marry may not see it this way. Marriage is tough. Even Paul said it would be better that you do not marry. It could be God is making you wait because you are not ready.
There is nothing wrong with waiting. God will honor and bless one for it. It is better to wait on the person God wants for you than to settle for anyone just for the sake of marriage.
For those who are still waiting for a spouse and have been praying for one, God will provide. Wait on His timing. Keep yourself pure and blameless until the night of your wedding.
And if you feel called to remain single and not marry at all that is fine too. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed for it. What matters is that you obey and honor God through it all.