Homemaker: A Divine Assignment Part 1
By Zelda Dominguez
I was never good at domestic things, nor did I ever enjoy or desire to be a homemaker/housewife. My own mother always worked, and yet, she tried to show me how to sew, crochet, embroider, clean and cook, but I never liked it or saw it as valuable. Growing up when Women’s Lib was at it’s height, and in a feministic world view, I started to get a warped sense of women and myself. On one hand I believed women could do anything men could, but on the other hand I didn’t relate to many girls because I saw them as weak, and taken advantage of by the opposite sex. I didn’t want to identify with that; therefore, I chose not to befriend many girls. I see now that was the enemy’s lie I believed, which kept me in that state. I went to college, and entered the work force into a satisfying career.
Being a homemaker or housewife wasn’t looked upon as a very valued job. In some sense it still isn’t today. The image of a homemaker created by the media projects it as menial, inferior, and subordinate compared to careers outside the home. Movies and TV shows portray stay-at-home moms or housewives as mindless, irresponsible, unsatisfied, bored, regretful, unhappy, or stuck in family responsibilities.
By the time I had a child, I was a new Christian. My husband wanted me to stop working and care for my son upon purchasing our first home. I will always remember a comment made by a family member: “You went from hero to zero overnight!” That’s how I was already feeling so that comment only added salt to my wound. I had a good professional job where I received my self-worth from. I had lost my identity in that job, with my eyes on my title, clout, prestige, accolades, reward and self-satisfaction. I felt like I was demoted. I was now home alone with a 7 month old in a new house that I didn’t know how to manage, nor desired to care for. I had no understanding of the value God places on the homemaker, and the woman’s work in her home.
I knew if I stayed in that mindset I was destined to failure, unhappiness, and resentment. This was something deep down I knew – I had to get help because my family depended on it.
Going to friends isn’t always the answer. My thoughts were filled with fear of the unknown. Where do I begin? I thought. The first friend I went to, I asked, “As a Christian, how do we manage this?” She was a Christian, so I was surprised at the advice she gave. She told me she went shopping at Nordstrom and I should too because I deserved it. She tried to justify it based on how our husbands had hobbies and activities and could do what they liked. I saw these friends were unhappy and only when I looked to the Lord and His Word did I begin to receive truth and right counsel. I started to see how God was calling me to a different calling as manager of the home and family. As I sought answers from the Lord, He led me to the right fellowship of godly likeminded women who exhibited those qualities He calls us to have. I never thought I could be like some of those women. Or take delight in being a woman who managed her home. But it was He who began to do the work in me, develop His character in me, and give me the knowledge and skills to fulfill what He wanted me to do. The best way to make homemaking a joyful task is to offer it unto the Lord.
The scripture states, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:23-24, NIV). This is one of the first verses that helped me. I learned that everything I did God honored as I did it unto Him. Even the dishes!
In Proverbs, we read, “A wise woman builds her house, while a foolish woman tears hers down by her own efforts” (Proverbs 14:1, TLB).
It’s a choice to walk into which woman we want to be. God was calling me into an important role yet the choice was mine. He wants us s to be the thermostat of our home. Making a house a home. We must take Gods wisdom and apply it to our hearts. The attitude of our hearts is key. We must also be willing to let go of any negative habit or thinking and begin to build our home.
Are you unsure where to begin, or fearful in thinking you can never fulfill this divine assignment? Are you planning on getting married soon and this wasn’t in your vision? Do you also find reward and self-fulfillment in your current job and wonder why would you want to leave that? Perhaps the fact is, economically you feel your helping with the family in this way? Where are you placing your focus and energy? Look to the heart. I know you want what God wants. Respond to Him now by affirming that. God wants to fulfill His purposes in us. Our Lord the Creator of you and me knows best, has a plan, and will accomplish it if we allow Him.
In part two of this article we will go into more of Gods word defining his divine calling to women.