(Photos Courtesy of Sarah Komisky)
Devastation or Dedication?
By Mike Komisky
I am writing on behalf of all the husbands and father’s who have been by their wife’s side during their journey with cancer.
My story begins when my wife just had been diagnosed in 2009with breast cancer. The news at first was shocking. I remember having no words to say as I was in total disbelief. The word cancer can strike fear in the hearts of its victims and their families and it was also the first time I really learned how much faith can be tested
Being a man, we tend to want to always be in control of every situation. However, I realized quickly that I could do nothing to relieve my wife’s condition. I felt so helpless watching this disease bring a storm we as a family were not prepared for. I felt as if Jesus was truly saying, “Do you really trust me?”
Marriage in God’s eyes is a true vow to be by my wife’s side for better or worse, sickness and health. As time went on, through three operations and treatment, doctor visits, sleepless nights for both my daughter and I, I found that our dependence upon the Lord became more vital each day. This illness can either devastate the family or make it stronger.
My wife is my Jonathan, my best friend, as he was to David. She is a courageous warrior. However, I learned that during her operations, Jesus told me that no matter the outcome, she was His child and I had to totally surrender my wife and the circumstances to Him. Letting go, like Abraham did when he had laid his son Isaac on the altar, it was painful! Instead of letting the enemy bring devastation, I dedicated my wife to Jesus.
The Bible says in Galatians 6:10 to not be weary in well doing, because you will reap if you faint not. Caregiving can be tiring mentally, physically, and emotionally. But the rewards are well worth it. It brought a stronger love for my wife and my daughter that I never had before and I was able to see how faithful Jesus is to His Word.
You may feel as though you are alone – that’s a lie of the enemy. Jesus is with you every step of the way. In the world’s eye, a man needs to be strong and self assured of himself but to be a real man, husband, father, caretaker, and friend, God needs you broken and totally emptied of self. Then, He can use you because you are now hearing His voice.
Thanks to the Lord, my wife is now in remission and I thank Jesus everyday. I also thank my beautiful daughter for being by my side during this hard journey/trial with her mom.
To you caregivers, husbands of loved ones with cancer, this is my encouragement to you:
1. Jesus knows your pain (Psalm 25:18)
2. He promises strength in the storm (Psalm 29:11)
3. You are never alone (Hebrews 13:5)
4. Cry out to God. He hears your prayers (Psalm 84:2)
5. He is in total control (Proverbs 16:9)
Jesus never promised an easy life. Rather, He promised a victorious one. His ways are not our ways and His timing is perfect. My prayer is that you become the godly man, husband, and father that God wants you to be. Paul the apostle said, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1, NKJV). Be a reflection of Jesus to your wife and daughter. Serve them that they are your highest calling.