(Photo courtesy of moriahpeters.com)
Why Moriah Peters Has No Regrets Saving Her First Kiss for Marriage and How God Redeemed Her Obsession With Finding ‘Mr. Right’
By Sarah Komisky
Regret. It’s the thing that drives us or deprives us. The tool that aids us or ails us, regret has a way of affecting us for better or for worse. Yet for 23-year-old Christian recording artist Moriah Peters, regret placed in the hands of God has had a way of redeeming itself for the better.
Annoyed with peers for their ability to give away their first kiss to random guys, Peters made the choice at fourteen to save her first kiss for something more meaningful – marriage. Although it was a choice that Peters believes was a specific calling on her life, Peters assures readers that in no way was her choice something that made her more “pure.”
“I’ve been really diving into what this word purity really means, and to me, I think it can get deceiving because if you say you’re pure, the antithesis of that is that somebody’s dirty. Kissing a guy is not dirty. Kissing a guy is not bad,” shares Peters. “I think it’s so much about what God holds you to do and puts in your heart to do.”
Although God did exactly that, walking this road with this calling has not been easy. Facing direct opposition at her American Idol audition where she was challenged by the judges to have more life experience to feel “sexy” and was therefore cut early from the competition, Peters stuck to her decision to pursue purity, which opened the door to being signed to a record label. It was on this journey she met a guy named Joel (of for KING & COUNTRY) at a wedding and talked about songwriting. This would lead her to write the song “I’ll Wait For You,” featured on her newest release, Brave.
“It’s pretty special. I actually wrote that song with him two days after we met. It was he and I and another producer, and we all spent four days writing the song. Normally, especially in Nashville, some song writing sessions only take an hour. It was four days of just time together, hanging out, and getting to know one another,” reveals Peters. “In this song we projected two fictional characters waiting for love in one another, but I think in reality we both knew deep down those characters were really us.”
As she and Joel began dating, the road to this commitment was, again, not easy. Peters candidly shares, “I know there were times when Joel and I were dating where it was like ‘Ah Lord, He’s so handsome, please give me the strength,’ and He did! He really did, and I think it really set up our marriage to be something special and just really honoring of one another.”
Looking back without regrets, she says, “When it comes to saving my first kiss, the ramifications of that have really only been positive. Even down to our wedding night there was no regret whatsoever.”
Yet, there were other decisions that she confesses were those she does regret, saying, “there are certain things in relationships that I did that I kind of at times wish that I didn’t, and I know people say it’s not good to regret, but I think we have all done things where we’re like, ‘ah, I shouldn’t have done that.’”
One thing Peters shared she would do differently prior to meeting Joel was to not be obsessed with finding “Mr. Right.”
“I kind of hate so much attention being pulled away from just our relationship with God because we’re focused on the formulas of steps one, two, and three of finding our ‘holy husband.’ I think that part of the reason I am so passionate about it is because I really bought into it. I was OBSESSED with finding the guy for me. I think if I could encourage girls to do it a different way, it would be to not obsess over it,” she notes. “It’s more important, I think, if we are going to obsess over anything, to really throw ourselves into understanding God’s love for us, His plan for our lives, and how He wants us to make an impact on the world-be it through music or art or culture or business. There is so much that can be done, and our potential is immeasurable.”
Placing regret in the hands of God, Peter’s remorse has been redeemed as she shares with others the importance of making Jesus our primary focus.
“I don’t think we need to focus on preparing ourselves to be good girlfriends or good wives or good dating material. I don’t think that’s where our focus should be,” she states. “I think we should be preparing ourselves to be good humans and good followers of Christ and the relationship thing is just a good byproduct of that.”
Additionally, Peters invites readers to consider also turning their attention towards others saying, “I think above all else, even before we start talking about purity, and standards, and relationships and all that, what’s most important, I think, as a foundational understanding is to know our value and to know that we are designed as women with certain attributes of God that only we as females have. In all of these things that make us unique as females, it’s important to own them and to know that we are special and capable of so much. I think just first finding confidence and assuredness in who we are and what we can do is really important. I think if we expand our world and see the importance of life outside of our own relationships, that’s a good place to start.”
When asked about her comment in an I am Second video regarding her gratitude for finding a man who respected and valued her standards and how important it is for women to not settle for less, Peters shared that it all begins with the way we see ourselves.
“When it comes to wanting to have standards for relationships, I think first of all how can we ask any man to treat us with the dignity we deserve unless we first see that value and that worth in ourselves. Once we do get past that point, I think it’s just natural, it’s natural when you see yourself as a gem, as a diamond, he wouldn’t want anybody to tarnish you or treat you in a rude or disrespectful way. So I think standards for the sake of protecting the work that we have are important.
Growing up in a Christian home where her parents valued purity, Peters cautions readers to not miss out on a good romance that God has for them just because they are holding on too tightly to purity as an identity.
She shares, “I think with that upbringing, we can often start having the conversation of purity a bit too early where it can become something that defines us. And I know that was something that I struggled with in the beginning of Joel and my relationship, and I started feeling like we can’t kiss because that will ruin my purity and my purity is who I am. So we can hold so tight to those standards that we have that we forget love and romance involves risk, and I think risk is a really important element of dating that we can often shy away from because of fear.”
In closing, Peters encourages others who desire to make that same commitment she did, to save their first kiss for marriage, by urging others to make sure they are first called saying, “Make sure that it really is a God designed path for you because if it’s something that you’re doing just because you feel like it’s the right thing to do or because somebody else is doing it and you kind of want to do that too, you might be setting yourself up for some frustration or some disappointment because ultimately it’s like if God’s not calling you to do it, the only way it’s possible really is with God’s help and with His guidance.”
All in all, Moriah’s story goes to show that we can make choices that leave us with the satisfaction and blessing of having no regrets. And, when regrets happen, God is always there to redeem them, turning them into lessons learned for us, and opportunities to share with others for good. For in the hands of God, life’s regrets can always be redeemed and we can discover that life can truly be lived with no regrets.
Look for Moriah’s book on the subject of purity coming soon, and in the meantime, enjoy her music and reading her thoughts on life at: http://www.moriahpeters.com
Moriah’s Recommended Reading:
“Hinds’ Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard
“It’s such a beautiful allegory especially I think for women because the main character is a girl named much afraid. It’s about her journey in overcoming her fears and taking risks and stepping outside of herself and going through the highs and lows in life in order to experience God to experience pain to experience suffering and sorrow and joy in a completely new and deeper way. So I think that’s a book that I would encourage people to read because again it puts the focus on where the focus should be which is our hearts and our walks with God.”