(Photo by Samantha De La O)
Am I Ready?
By Melissa Valle
You and your crush are hanging out after your class and he says, “Can I ask you something?”
You nod your head and say “sure.”
He says, “I just wanted to tell you that I have these feelings for you and I was wondering if you would like to be my girlfriend?”
Ladies, as you are imagining this I have a question for you. My question is not whether or not you would say “yes” to being his girlfriend. My question is, are you ready for a relationship?
In a circumstance like this, it is easy to let your heart take over and say “yes.”
In no way should you be ashamed that you want to be in a relationship. It’s okay because God created you and He created your emotions and feelings. God created your desires. However, is it in His will for you to be in a relationship? I think we, myself included, often forget that we can let God be in control of our relationships because our feelings are already heavily involved. So do you want to know if you are ready for a relationship? Ask yourself…
Is Christ the center of your relationship?
Do you put this guy on a pedestal? Remind yourself that he is not your Creator. That he too is human and will fall short. A dear friend of mine said, “When you put God in the front of your love life, you’ll get it right.” Ask yourself, is Christ the center of your life? Is Christ the center of His? And ask yourself if Christ is the center so that you can receive a reward? Or because you see the need for God in your life?
Is he willing to wait for you?
Ask him if he is willing to wait for you until you are ready for a relationship. If he is just any other guy, he may move on to another girl. And that hurts. However, if he is really special and if he really cares about you, would he continue to pursue you and wait for you until you feel comfortable and ready?
What are your motives? His?
Do you want to be his girlfriend just to have fun? To have someone to hold? Or because you are genuinely interested in getting to know him on another level? Does he have attributes you want in a man? In a husband? Do you want this relationship to eventually get serious? What about him?
What are your weaknesses? Your strengths?
Do you have any leftover baggage from your last relationship? Do you have the tendency to get too attached? Do you get to the point where you spend too much time with your boyfriend and not enough with the Lord or your friends and family? Ultimately what is it that you like to work on in this relationship?
What are your boundaries?
Don’t just ask yourself how far is too far? Or how far can I go? But rather, what is the way I can honor this individual? Think, that is someone’s future spouse. How can I glorify the Lord and His ways by choosing to wait? With boundaries comes a purpose. Reflect on that purpose, one that the Lord has in store for you.
Have you prayed about it?
Last but not least, have you prayed for the Lord to give you direction? Direction in your feelings and in your future actions? That he would guide you and keep your eyes fixed on Him?
These points are not meant to restrict you or control you. Rather, these points are to help you reflect. Talk to God and your potential partner. I encourage you to not take relationships lightly and to really look inward if you take this next step. Though I hope that these questions are to help you, know that relationships are unpredictable and are big commitments so you can’t be 100% ready. As crazy as it may sound, you learn as you go. But the Lord is with you as it says in Isaiah 41:10,
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Ladies, God is with you even in moments like this. Pray that the Lord will guard your heart so that you won’t get into a relationship with just anyone. If you feel the need to do a devotional over this, read over Psalm 139. It’s okay to say “no” if you and the Lord decide that you are not ready. Remember, these desires are beautiful, acknowledge them. Reflect on them. Let’s pray…
Lord, I thank you so much for this reader. Spirit, I pray that You would meet her wherever she is at. That You may guide her in this path of uncertainty and let Your will be done. That You may give her wisdom and peace over this situation as she may embark on this new journey. If You are calling her to not be in this relationship, I pray that she may follow what You have to say. That You may be with her in that tough period and continue to guard her heart. Remind her that no one can love her and pursue her like You can. Be with her, may she continue to glorify You and keep her eyes fixed on You. In Jesus name, Amen.