(Photo by Selma Komisky)

Our Note to Guys: Adulting

By Sarah and Selma Komisky

QUESTION: What is something you would like guys to know about adulting?

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.”

– Micah 6:8 (ESV)

This is our prayer for you.

SURVEY ANSWERS:

“Society is in need of male role models. We don’t need men that behave like boys. Adulting is needed more than ever where we are losing responsible men of faith.”

“Quit porn. Please. The women who are your sisters, friends, and girlfriends deserve better. Your future wife and children deserve better. Porn rewires your brain to be a sex consumer. This world needs men who love, honor, protect, and nurture women. Porn destroys that and makes men into consumers incapable of relating, feeling, loving or giving.  It’s a death trap disguised as delicious liberty.  Be smarter than that. Overcome. Adult.”

“Request #1: Clean up after yourself.  Secondly, please be thoughtful of others in the bathroom and pick up and put down toilet seat!”

“There’s nothing more attractive than a guy who can do their own laundry and cook a delicious meal!”

“My advice to guys: Never be embarrassed about asking questions! Years ago, when my now husband was on his own in his first apartment, he called me to ask, ‘How many weeks is an opened package of hotdogs still good?’ I answered….‘Weeks?’ ‘After they are opened, they need to be cooked & eaten within one week or they start to spoil.’ Then he exclaimed….‘That’s what that smell is!!!’ Turns out, he also had a pound of raw hamburger in his refrigerator, that had been there for over a month!  None of us reach adulthood knowing everything we need to know to survive! We still laugh about it today.”

“Be more of a communicator, try talking to me and being present, along with eye contact. Instead of  looking at your cell phone and texting or going on social media. Take a chance. You just might enjoy it.”

“There’s nothing worst than an immature guy. Do the work guys! Don’t expect your GF to clean your room or do your errands. Nothing more unattractive than you taking your mom your laundry to do!”

“Boundaries: Your inner courts are for just that. Your closet relationships. but this is usually the relationship between you and a spouse when it comes to boundaries, with your relationship with the Lord at the Holiest of Holies. This  means that mom, who now may be in outer courts if we are assuming we are working this as if it were temple, is not privy to  every little detail of your personal lives -that should be between you, your spouse, and God. Parents should also not barge in unannounced. Boundary violations are huge and most of us are unsure of where one ends and one begins because boundaries can be tricky or never even learned. Or learned dysfunctionally. Can cause huge strain, sometimes divorce.”

“Guys – pay for the date. Don’t get addicted to anything and if you do, have the courage to seek help fast. If you’re still living with mom when You’re late 20’s, early 30’s, it’s time to think about re-evaluating your responsibilities. And don’t date a girl for a prolonged period unless you have intentions on marrying her.”

“I find so many guys are content in letting the girl peruse them!?!. They are fine with the female doing all the work, asking them out so they don’t have to. Unfortunately, they are hiding behind social media and texting. Guys, ladies are truly longing for you to step into your role as a guy and peruse! It’s not old-fashioned and it’s SO needed in our culture today. STOP! Be different from the masses. Open the door. Pay for her. Listen. Compliment who she is. Treat her with respect and honor. You are a reflection of Christ.”

“Be mature. You want to end the relationship. Meet up or call. She needs to know how you feel? Be honest. Stop being ambiguous. You lead. A girl will respect you more if you respectfully tell the truth in kindness, even if it hurts initially. Have courage and do the right thing. You will be respected more.”