Rebuilding Trust

Marvel Studios ANT-MAN AND THE WASP..L to R: The Wasp/Hope van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) and Ant-Man/Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) ..Photo: Ben Rothstein..©Marvel Studios 2018

(Photo courtesy of Marvel Entertainment)

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Rebuilding Trust
Lessons Learned From Ant Man and the Wasp

By Brittney Perez

We’ve heard it said that it can take a long time to build trust with someone and then just moments for trust to be destroyed. Trust is a very important component in relationships of any kind, and oddly it can be one of the hardest things to build. Many times this is because of the hurt we have experienced in the past when we trusted someone and they let us down. Why is it that trust can be hard to build and, when broken, even harder to rebuild? I believe this is because to trust someone it takes vulnerability on our part and being vulnerable isn’t always the easiest thing to do. When we do come to a place of trusting someone and then experience the pain of betrayal or hurt caused by misuse of trust, it’s hard to imagine trusting that same person again or anyone else for that matter. Yet, in order to have a healthy relationship of any kind, trust is essential. You can’t truly be close to someone you don’t trust.

The movie, Ant-Man and the Wasp, helps depict what can happen when trust is broken. In the movie, Scott Lang (Ant-Man) and Hope van Dyne (Wasp) have an estranged relationship caused by broken trust and have to work together in order to rebuild it. Scott Lang loses the trust of Hope and her father when he uses her father’s technology to help out Captain America, and by his actions, ends up putting them on the fugitive’s most wanted list. In life, our actions have consequences and sometimes those consequences can be the result of hurting someone that chose to trust us. As time goes on, Scott and Hope begin to work together in different ways and learn how to rebuild trust in their relationship. Part of the ways you see trust begin to be regained in the movie is through actions. Often at times, actions speak louder than words. Not only do you see Scott help Hope overcome various obstacles, but you find that trust starts to be rebuilt between the two of them when Scott finds a connection that can help Hope and her father find her mother, who was lost in the Quantum Realm. Through trials and testings, we find that in the end trust is rebuilt through the display of actions and seeking to right a wrong that was made.

Though we see trust begin to be rebuilt throughout the movie, one aspect that isn’t mentioned, but is essential to rebuilding trust with someone, is forgiveness. Without forgiveness, I can’t see how trust can be rebuilt in a relationship. Forgiveness is essential. In Colossians 3:13, NIV it says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Often at times, we can find it really hard to forgive those who have sinned against us even though Jesus tells us multiple times in the Bible to forgive one another; especially if the wrong committed was really hurtful. In my personal experience, I’ve found that a lack of forgiveness on my end has made situations worse; it begins to eat away at you as you relive the pain again and again. It’s not until you truly choose to forgive the other person for the wrong they committed against you from your heart that you begin to experience healing. Once you come to that place of forgiving or seeking forgiveness, things begin to change. Sure it will take time for trust to be rebuilt, and forgiveness doesn’t mean you will totally forget everything that happened, but it does mean that you have chosen to see the situation through the lens of forgiveness instead of the lens of the wrongs committed against you, and that is a game changer.

Just how it took effort on both Scott and Hope to rebuild trust in their relationship, I hope that if you have experienced the brokenness caused by the betrayal of trust, that forgiveness is exchanged so that healing can begin and trust can begin to be rebuilt.