The Gift of Purity

(Photo by Selma Komisky)

The Gift of Purity

By Cherise Stewart

We are all hustling to find the perfect gift for the people in our lives. As much as we try to remember that Jesus is the real reason for the season, most of us get caught up in the whirlwind of black Friday, lightning deals, and deep discounts on things we know we only contribute to our happiness for a short moment in our lives.

Some gifts, however, cannot be found on store shelves or in online stores instead, gifts that last a lifetime are choices that we make. These gifts include forgiveness, love, and kindness. One gift that often gets overlooked is the gift of purity. Maybe because we all think of purity as something we “have” to pursue to be a “good” Christian. We often label purity as “boring” and “hard”. But have you ever thought of how choosing purity can be one the biggest gifts you can give to yourself?

The thought of giving ourselves the gift of purity may make your head spin since being pure feels more like a sacrifice than an amazing present, however, I believe we need to dig a little deeper to truly uncover how purity can lead to some of the biggest benefits of our lives.

Let’s explore how purity can be one of the kindest gifts you can give yourself this season.

Gift #1: Self Control

Our culture talks a lot about self-control. It is praised when we can be consistent with going to the gym and frowned upon when we pass on a drink at a party. When it comes to sex, self-control is preached from the pulpits and “not a big deal” outside of the church doors.

Most of us have heard that when we have consensual sex, our brains release a chemical in our brain, called oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone responsible for connection and bonding. This hormone aids us in forming an emotional connection and reinforces our cultural notion of “finding our person”.

The problem is an emotional connection with someone to who we are not committed opens our hearts up to deep hurt and pain. Sex opens our hearts to emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy with someone else. When the relationship ends, instead of being able to move forward and forget, this bond remains and often ignites feelings of hurt or shame.

When we give ourselves the gift of purity, self-control seems less like an impossible feat. We are instead choosing to honor our bodies and protect our hearts. God’s intention for us is to not live in a place of hurt and shame, but instead, in freedom and grace.

Gift #2: Discernment

Walking in purity helps us break down the barriers in knowing God and his will for our lives. When we are aware of God’s heart for us, this “promotes caution, discernment, and good choices while preventing corruption in thought, word, and deed”.


We often talk about intuition and gut feelings, and as a society, we promote trusting this part of us. Intuition is the part of us that causes us to “know something, without fully understanding why”.  Many believe that “Intuition is a gift from God, and, when we learn how to develop and strengthen it, intuition can help us steer clear of disastrous decisions and relationships”.

Doing our best to make decisions in alignment with God’s plan for us, will ultimately protect us from the things that we do not know or fully understand.

Gift #3: Self Reflection

If we are going to break down purity into a simple statement, Paul said it best when he wrote that when we need to “Fix {our} thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. {To} Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4.8, NLT

When we are focusing on what is honorable and right, it is easy for us to spot the stumbling blocks in our own lives that might be getting in our way.

Without purity, it would be difficult to hold ourselves accountable for our decisions and behaviors. When we are actively trying to live a pure life, we are faster to catch ourselves when we start to stray. This creates a level of self-awareness that helps us quicker highlight our faults and quickly get back on track to avoid hurt or regret.

Purity can be a burden if we allow it to be, but it can also be one of the biggest gifts we give ourselves. It affects our thoughts, words, choices, attitudes, and relationships. When we are actively choosing to make healthier choices we can protect our hearts from pain, hurt, regret, and shame. It’s a gift that can help us discern our next steps and helps us notice when we need to reset and reflect. Walking in purity is one of the best gifts you can give yourself this year.