Love Your Marriage

(Photo by Stevi Phipps)

Love Your Marriage

By Kyle Jane Heskett

Love is easier said than done.  In every marriage, there are ups and downs, times where the love is easily given and received, and times when it feels as if the love has run dry. The word of God is full of direction on how to love one another, but how exactly is it put into practice? I interviewed a few godly women—all married for different amounts of time—to get a personal view on how they keep the love alive in their marriages, each turning to the word of God for their strength through the good, the bad and the ugly.

“If we, as wives, obey and follow God’s perfect rules, we will never have to rekindle the love because it will never leave. The horizontal love for each other comes from the vertical love from God. It’s not about your husband, it is about God. Stay in the Word, trust Him, and love will flow.”

Roberta, married 31 years.

Ephesians 5 gives us a perfect blueprint for marriage, and 1 John 4:7 states, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God (NIV).” We must not forget where our strength to love our spouse comes from.  Depend on God to give the love you need.

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“Have time outside of mommy and daddy life. Going out is fun, but you can still spend time together in simple ways; at home too. And during the crazy hectic moments, don’t forget to stop, breathe deeply, really look at your mate and say ‘I love you and I appreciate you in my life.’”

Misty, married six years.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 states “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil (ESV).”  When life gets crazy, take the time to work as a team to accomplish what is needed.  After all the work is done, enjoy one another’s company.  

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“My husband makes me laugh every day.  Laughter goes a long way and we are best friends who have learned to keep a light-hearted attitude even in the midst of trials.”

Sharon, married 11 years.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22, NIV).”  Remember that God is in control and trusting Him gives you ultimate freedom. James 1:2 reminds us to have joy in the hard times—you can use that joy to persevere with your spouse.

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“Make a gratitude list of your spouse and read it every day.”

Sherry, married 28 years.

“In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NASB).  What is it about your husband you are grateful for? Reminding yourself of your man’s good qualities will keep things in the right perspective.

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“Give each other space to grow, and applaud your husband to others.”

Margie, married 54 years.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to “encourage one another and build each other up. (NIV)”  Encouragement goes a long way. People say that behind every great man is an even greater woman. It is important to be patient with one another in the mistakes we make and to encourage one another in the hard times. It is also important to recognize achievement in each other and be proud of your husband.

Whether married for a short time or over fifty years, God gives us all the answers on how to keep the love alive. Love may look different for every couple, but the source should always be God. If your love is led by Him, it will stay alive in your marriage.