(Photo by Kimberly Loidolt)
The Power of Female Friendship
By Kyle Jane Heskett
“I don’t know what I would have done so many times in my life if I hadn’t had my girlfriends.”
– Reese Witherspoon
Are you the type of girl who would rather be friends with boys than other girls? Welcome to my world. For the majority of my adult single years, I struggled to keep strong female friendships. I would have chosen to be with my guy friends any day of the week. In fact my then boyfriend, now husband, would tell me I needed more female friends. I would tell him “I don’t like to hang out with girls!” Little did I know I was missing out on something spectacular.
The one thing I would change about my time being single was that I wish I pursued more female friendships. Now that I am married and have come to love the friends I have, I could have used more wonderful women in my life back then. The fact is that women need other women. There are the types of friendships that bring life to the soul that women can only get from each other. Female friendships are important for any stage in life, especially when you are single.
“It’s important not to cut yourself off from female friendships. I think sometimes girls get scared of other girls, but you need each other.”
– Zooey Deschanel
For single women, there can be a lot of competition, especially over popularity and boys. Strong female friendships diffuse jealousy and gossip. Movies, television shows, and social media represent women hating or bullying one another. But what about the women who encourage each other, who comfort others when they are feeling low, who are honest and trustworthy? We need to see more of those women! When women look out for each other and actually get to know one another, there is no reason to be at odds. False assumptions fade away. Yes, there may always be that girl in your life that continues to bully or take advantage of other girls but the reality is that most girls are not like that. I made the mistake of thinking that most women are the same as I struggled to find ones that I really trusted. I now know that I only harmed myself and other women in the past with my assumptions. Don’t let any bad experiences keep you from enjoying the blessings of female friendships.
“I love my husband, but it is nothing like a conversation with a woman that understands you. I grow so much from those conversations.”
Strong female friendships will also help you grow as a woman for each stage of your life. Female friendships offer true empathy, encouragement, and freedom to fully express yourself. Girls can learn from one another, work together to achieve similar goals, and support each other. With that comes amazing growth and maturity. God designed us for companionship and as a single woman, your primary companionship is with your friends. That is where you will draw fellowship, comfort, and understanding from. When I was single, I didn’t realize how much I needed female friends. I often felt lonely, misunderstood, and disinterested in life. I needed women I could talk about dating with, ones that could help hold me accountable and encourage me through the struggles I was facing being single. That’s what friends are for! Female friendships will also help you prepare for what’s ahead, such as marriage or motherhood. Listening to godly, married women and their experiences can help you become the woman God has called you to be for your future husband. Other women can also help you know what to expect or look out for when raising children. There is no end to the knowledge and inspiration women can get from each other.