(Photo by Selma Komisky)
When Your Relationship Status Has A Comma
By McKenzi Matsick
In this season, where everyone is in isolation and tucked away from humanity, it may be easy for you to feel lonely. Perhaps you are in the midst of a break-up, or you may have never been in a relationship before.
For myself, the end of my first relationship left my “status” with a comma. This comma is serving the role of what is to come with the one God places in my life to be in a relationship with.
According to the dictionary, a comma is a “slight pause” within a sentence that leads to the rest of what has to be said. It breaks up one part of a sentence with the next in order to serve the purpose of giving order to the sequential elements of a statement.
On the other hand, a period marks the end and completes something. It is a full pause rather than a slight one, and in grammar terms, it is the full stopping point of a declarative sentence.
When we look at singleness through the lens of it being a stage of life or a season, it allows us to focus more on our relationship with God and those around us, while being expectant of what God will do in the future with our dating/marriage life.
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul talks about the beauty of singleness and says it is almost better to be single than to be married because we can serve the Lord without distraction. Personally, my relationship got to be too much of a priority in my life that God was not able to fully work in me because I occupied myself so much with the other person, more-so than with God.
I went on a spring break trip to Nashville, TN, with my parents and ex-boyfriend, and I felt like God was doing a work on my heart that nobody else around me could see. I was quiet, and I was in deep thought throughout the whole trip, thinking ahead to my future and what I felt God was calling me to do in the music industry. When we came back home, I knew God was wanting to do something in my life that He had never done before, but He was telling me that I needed to start surrendering areas of my life, one-by-one, to Him. So, I did.
The very last thing that God had strongly convicted me of was surrendering my relationship over to Him. It was the hardest thing to do, but because I knew God wanted me to do it, I felt at peace and wanted to walk in obedience. I ended the relationship, and my ex-boyfriend supported me 100% because he wanted me to submit to God in where He had me in this season and to not be distracted.
A week after things ended, God opened doors as wide as He could for me to move to Nashville to pursue an artist management internship and to finish my degree online through Lipscomb University. He has given me so many opportunities to live out my story through ministry, and I have created countless relationships with others because of it. He couldn’t have done this without me laying down my own dreams and ambitions so that I could be completely focused on Him and what He wanted to do in my life.
Whether you’ve always been single or not, there is hope for you beyond this season. It is okay to long and hope for a relationship, and dating in and of itself is okay.
My encouragement to you would be to not lose sight of what God is doing in the present. What you are enduring right now is setting you up for the future, including who God has planned for your life. He wants you to go into your dating and marriage life fully devoted to your companion, but He also wants you to be fully devoted to Himself even more.
I had to learn that the hard way, but when you walk in obedience to God, He will give you much more than you could have ever imagined. He not only has opened doors for me, but even personally, I’ve grown so much in my walk with Him.
Pray for your future husband/wife, and ask God to give you peace, patience, and discernment for both now and the future in waiting for your bride or groom to arrive. You’re in a “comma” season, not a “period.”
Find out more about McKenzi by visiting www.cactusroseco.org/